I have been dealing with my husband’s health issues since we were married, but as the years have gone by they have increased. He has had bouts of phobias, panic attacks, but not to the extent of the last month.
I am a recovering anxiety/panic attacks person, and have had this all my life. Yes, as a child too, but it never got dealt with until I came to America. One of the most important things is to be positive, and be with positive people.
So you can imagine dealing with him not being able to go to bed, if he does he starts panicking, walking around. Not wanting to leave the house, and so much more.
It finally got to me today, as he was wandering around the house, in a daze, and saying ‘You don’t know how I feel’. Of course I do, I had ‘knock out ones’ that would put me to bed for 3 days.
I felt this hot feeling coming over me, light headed, weakness in my body, and the feeling of pooping myself.
I managed to sit on the sofa so that I wouldn’t pass out, like I used to, and did my ‘boxing style’ deep breathing. I can breathe in for a count of 6, and the same out. My diaphragm automatically works with it. After 5 minutes I had completely controlled my mind, and body.
I have spent the last 30 minutes trying to get hubby to do the same, as I told him that I can’t be around depressed people. I am hoping that he might remember that, but very doubtful, as he is 86 and his memory is failing.
It’s very hard for me to write this, but with the fall, and some of his wounds still open, his 5 chronic illnesses, and dealing with the panic attacks I needed to open up. I know you will understand that writing about it helps.