Hubby’s health issues, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks hit me today.

I have been dealing with my husband’s health issues since we were married, but as the years have gone by they have increased.  He has had bouts of phobias, panic attacks, but not to the extent of the last month.

I am a recovering anxiety/panic attacks person, and have had this all my life.  Yes, as a child too, but it never got dealt with until I came to America.  One of the most important things is to be positive, and be with positive people.

So you can imagine dealing with him not being able to go to bed, if he does he starts panicking, walking around.  Not wanting to leave the house, and so much more.

It finally got to me today, as he was wandering around the house, in a daze, and saying ‘You don’t know how I feel’.  Of course I do, I had ‘knock out ones’ that would put me to bed for 3 days.

I felt this hot feeling coming over me, light headed, weakness in my body, and the feeling of pooping myself.

I managed to sit on the sofa so that I wouldn’t pass out, like I used to, and did my ‘boxing style’ deep breathing.  I can breathe in for a count of 6, and the same out.  My diaphragm automatically works with it.  After 5 minutes I had completely controlled my mind, and body.

I have spent the last 30 minutes trying to get hubby to do the same, as I told him that I can’t be around depressed people.  I am hoping that he might remember that, but very doubtful, as he is 86 and his memory is failing.

It’s very hard for me to write this, but with the fall, and some of his wounds still open, his 5 chronic illnesses, and dealing with the panic attacks I needed to open up.  I know you will understand that writing about it helps.

38 comments

  1. Yes, it’s good to talk, Susie. You must absolutely take care of your mental well-being or you won’t be able to cope with your hubby. You seem like Wonder Woman to the rest of us, but of course, you’re human, and it seems to me that you hit a wall today with all the recent stress and upset. Is there perhaps a friend or a good neighbour who could sit with your husband now and again while you have some me time? You may need to step away from the situation, if only for a short time every day. You mustn’t feel guilty because you’re quite obviously a brilliant carer. But sometimes the carer needs TLC. Sending hugs and lots of positive good wishes. 🤗

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  2. Susie I am sorry you have so much to deal with at times. Do know even tho I may not leave comments, I always read your posts and either smile or keep you and hubby close in heart and prayers. I admire your strength and tenderness!

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  3. You need to let the stress out. It is not easy being a care giver, at any age. Bless you for doing your best. That is all you can strive for. Stay well, Susie. Allan

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  4. I continue to hold you both in my Heart, wishing you well, wishing you comfort, wishing you Peace. Sending the sweetest of Blessings and very much Love from my Heart to yours, Susie. 💞

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  5. I m truly sorry for you and him and understand you because I understand for the most part my husband’s aggravation that I cause him at times with my mental illnesses episodes. Hang in there I will pray again for you and I ray for all my followers almost every night. God bless you.

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  6. You have a lot on your plate – good that you open up. Louise Hayes 101 Powerthoughts is an excellent video that really works for me when I’m dealing with anxiety. I do some stretches and listen to her soothing wise words and my hubby who often ends up listening as well always seems to perk up and cheer up too. Hang in there – don’t let the tough days bite you in the ass (not that anything could bite into buns of steel!!! lol) Hugs

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  7. Mental illness is the worst. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you’re dealing with this. I applaud you for learning how to keep yourself in check. Thanks for sharing from the heart.

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  8. Hope you’re okay ❤️ Stress can be such an awful fuel for anxiety and depression. Best wishes to you and your husband

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