Received more paperwork from England.

I was thinking that everything had been taken care of, with the paperwork after Len’s passing. Then today I get a notification from the pensions department in England saying that there was an overpayment.

As I don’t live in England I will try and wire the money back to them, if not I will have to write an English cheque and mail it to them.

I don’t know why they couldn’t have not paid me any money until they had retrieved the full amount. To me that would have been so much easier.

Wish me luck in attempting to do it online.



  1. You can request that they send you a document that you sign and send back stating that they withhold a portion of your payment until you’ve paid them back. Or have an attorney/bank draw that up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand that. But if you have them email you the document, you sign and send back. You would miss a few pension payments, but they would be paid back. Or the document may say your pension will have X amount deducted from it until paid back. It’s easier than trying to figure out how to pay them back when no banks are open and your lawyer is sick. And it certainly won’t hurt to find out if that’s possible until you can see your lawyer. At least you’ll be doing something rather than just sitting and waiting for all hell to rain down (anxiety can make us think all kinds of weird things).

    You said you wanted this to be over and done with, and you thought it was. So far, every step you’ve taken (that I can tell) is absolutely the right one. The only thing missing is you truly understanding what needs to be done (again, only from what I can tell as I have limited access to posts right now). Understanding it in a broad sense is great, until your lawyer gets sick. Then you’re just sitting there worried. Instead, find out more. Knowledge is power. Find out what mistake they made, what remedies there are. The only your lawyer may be an expert, but you can become an equal one. You seem to be a person who can think outside the box. You may come up with a remedy that will solve your issues faster with the help of that attorney.

    I know you can. From what I’ve read on your page (again, it’s not easy for me to keep up right now), you are strong – very strong, and you are very able to advocate for yourself. Continue to do that, but armed to the teeth with knowledge to back it up rather than endless anxiety. I always found that learning more lessens all anxiety, because you’ve already thought of fifty ways to solve your issue before you ever talk to the expert. I’m not gonna lie and say that they will all be genius ideas – or that any of them will work, I’m just saying that knowing makes the waiting a little easier

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, my husband had diabetes for 47 years, and when we owned our restaurant he had 2 massive heart attacks and quintuple bypass surgery. He went on insulin 27 years ago, chronic heart disease, stage 4 kidney failure, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I did everything for 27 years, and cared for his every need until his dying gay. Even to help dress his body.


  4. I understand that. And the pain that’s goes with it. My mother was extremely sick for 10 years. I took care of the medical side. I learned everything I could. When she went into the hospital I didn’t sit and bite my nails like every one else. I fought HARD because I knew what was going on. They said she would die that first time, and every time after that. She didn’t. She died 10 years late when she fell asleep at him in her bed. Peacefully.

    Even experts don’t know everything. You probably know more about what it takes to be married to someone with those issues and how they react to each other better than any expert. STAY STRONG. You got this. And assistance for the asking


  5. You are a strong woman. And you very likely did. Now it’s your turn to let others help you if you need it. Just ask and I will do my best. You don’t have to do it all alone. I don’t either. The power of support is huge and truly helps. Even if you don’t use it, knowing it’s there is always helpful, in case you do.


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