So I read several articles. I have had stress, anxiety, and panic attacks all my life, but never the symptoms I have had the last 2 days. My body didn’t want to do anything, and for a gym rat like me, that didn’t go down well. Then when I went to bed I would sleep for a couple of hours. That was it.
I looked up fatigue, and unable to sleep, and found several articles on the subject. Here is one of them from https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/drowsiness
‘Chronic Stress Your body experiences physiological damage from chronic stress and the associated stress-hormone (cortisol). Your body generally tries to repair damage when you’re asleep, so your drowsiness may amount to a signal from your body telling you to get more sleep so that you can recover from and reduce the physiological impact of stress.’
I made myself go down to the water’s edge, and take in deep breathes from now nose, and exhale through my mouth. I then started praying to the Lord, thanking him for all the blessings that he gives me, and asking him to show me what I needed to do.
I walked slowly dragging my feet, continuing my breathing. Then I found that my back was upright, I was walking my normal stride, and taking in the beautiful view of the ocean.
I came up to my apartment, had a long cool shower, wrote a post, and went to bed early. After about an hour I fell asleep, and managed until 2 a.m. I didn’t get up, open my eyes, and finally fell asleep again until 5 a.m. I did go to the bathroom this time, but went back to sleep, and it was 7.45 before I woke up.
I have a positive attitude today, even though it would have been our wedding anniversary. So I know that I am pulling myself out of this pity party. I may not be 100% today, but I am back on the road to recovery. I thought the hardest time was the last few months of Len’s life, his death, and the 4 months after, but wasn’t prepared as to how this week would affect me. I have got through it, and coming out the other side.
Thank you Lord for taking me under your wing, and making me strong again.