Today I feel normal, if anyone knows what it should be.

As many of you know I had been dreading this week for the past couple of months. I decided that if I didn’t come this year, I probably wouldn’t come any year, but still pay for my unit, and not use it.

I know that is why I have had several night’s when sleep has almost been impossible, and that I have spent most off the day just laying on the bed. I drove down, stopped at Panera, and Sunday forced myself to go to church, but haven’t used my car since. Tuesday I perked up when Donna came for 4 hours, but apart from a couple of short walks each day, I had no energy whatsoever.

Yesterday I made the decision not to stay until Saturday, as I had proved to myself that Len’s birthday, and our anniversary, were all about being at the beach, in this apartment, and being together. I had gotten through it, and last night I came back to being me. Now I haven’t anything to prove to myself.

I think that going home tomorrow afternoon, when there won’t be anyone else checking out will allow me to take my time, and not have to be concerned it getting everything done on Saturday morning. Also my friend Brenda would like to go to the dance on Friday evening, and a bit of cheering up never hurt anyone.

So I am praying that the misery induced few days won’t reoccur, and that I will get on with my life again, as I have been doing the past couple of months.

7 comments

  1. I think that these experiences that you are having are stepping stones to recovery after such a big loss in your life. Don’t rush yourself, be kind to yourself and you will get stronger each day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Ups and downs and all arounds are normal when suffering a loss like you have. Just take it one day at a time if you can.

    Like

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