Getting lots of advice.

I have had a close friend, and Len’s daughter suggest that I dispose of Len’s urn and ashes. They think that the time is right.

I still feel a comfort when I look at it and have told them so. I don’t talk to ‘him’ like I used to, so feel that it is just a presence now. Is it wrong for me to still want him close by?



  1. I suggest you bury him in a place where all the urns are situated so you can visit him accordingly. Another option would be to have his urn buried wth you when that day does come for you. You are his wife who makes the decison. Those are not just ashes. They are part of your late husband.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Susie, it is your decision, and YOU must feel comfortable to any actions. The time as to when you apply the action is also yours.
    Just respect Len’s daughter recommendation and know we all handle the loss of a love one differently.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I agree with the comments here that it’s your decision and not others. My parents ashes are buried. As suggested when the time is right you could scatter them or have them buried with yours someday side by side. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Gosh, Susie!!! That’s SUPER personal and I’m certain they are well-intended, but truly…..that’s YOUR call and whatever YOUR heart and soul are whispering to You is the ONLY and the absolutely PERFECT thing to be doing!!! For whatever it’s worth, my step-father died about 25 years ago. My mother still has his ashes. Sometimes when we play cards we’ll put them on the table (he’s in a beautiful wooden box with a lovely gold metal etching of a fly fisherman on in) and toast him now and again….or just silently have him there. He wanted his ashes spread in the rivers of Montana. My mother could never bear to do it. He was very John Wayne-ish and I I KNOW he’d be just fine and kindof smiling that she wanted him by her side til she passes. I promised her when she passes we will spread their ashes together. Keep following Your heart. You are such a strong, beautiful woman!!! Cheers and HUGE hugs to You!!! 🤗❤️🙏🏼

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Everyone grieves differently, and that’s just fine. There is no right time to dispose of his ashes. Do it when you want to, and you may never want to. People mean well, I think, but you’re the one who gets to decide, and others need to just respect your choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am sure they mean well, but you have to do what feels right for you. It is a very personal decision. If he goes first, I would probably keep my husband’s ashes until I go and then have our ashes interred together. But again, that is just me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I certainly think that’s a decision for you to make when you feel the time is right, if ever. I have my only son’s urn on my mantle and I don’t see myself doing anything with it in the forseeable future. I have made arrangements for it in my will for the ashes to be spread with mine when the time comes.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It appears you have received a truckload of advice from friends, family members and other. The only advice I can offer Susie is to be true to yourself. In other posts you have posted how much fun you are having and that life is once again rewarding to you. I am sure that Len is approving of you enjoying each day to the fullest. You in your heart will “know”what to do with his ashes. Whatever choice you make will be the correct one. Len’s urn offers you both psychological support and assurances you are not alone. Go with your gut instinct . Enjoy your life. Be happy!

    Liked by 1 person

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